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Dadre
Dus dat |
 Gepost door Dadre op woensdag 15-02-2006 om 18:26:34 |  |
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem-- It wouldn't take shit from anybody.
Chuck Norris once rode a nine foot grizzly bear through an automatic car wash, instead of taking a shower.
"Sweating bullets" is literally what happens when Chuck Norris gets too hot.
Chuck Norris' sperm can be seen with the naked eye. Each one is the size of a quarter.
After taking a steroids test doctors informed Chuck Norris that he had tested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information, and said "of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?"
Chuck Norris doesn't daydream. He's too busy giving other people nightmares.
When Arnold says the line "I'll be back" in the first Terminator movie it is implied that is he going to ask Chuck Norris for help.
There are no such things as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.
Chuck Norris' Penis is a third degree blackbelt, and an honorable 32nd-degree mason.
Chuck Norris does not follow fashion trends, they follow him. But then he turns around and kicks their ass. Nobody follows Chuck Norris.
The phrase 'break a leg' was originally coined by Chuck Norris's co-stars in Walker, Texas Ranger as a good luck charm indicating that a broken leg might be the worst extent of their injuries. This never proved to be the case.
Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.
Diamonds are not, despite popular belief, carbon. They are, in fact, Chuck Norris fecal matter. This was proven a recently, when scientific analysis revealed what appeared to be Jean-Claude Van Damme bone fragments inside the Hope Diamond.
Chuck Norris once participated in the running of the bulls. He walked.
# The Drummer for Def Leppard's only got one arm. Chuck Norris needed a back scratcher.
Chuck Norris was the orginal sculptor of Mount Rushmore. He completed the entire project using only a bottle opener and a drywall trowel.
Chuck Norris once rode a bull, and nine months later it had a calf.
Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.
For Spring Break '05, Chuck Norris drove to Madagascar, riding a chariot pulled by two electric eels.
The Manhattan Project was not intended to create nuclear weapons, it was meant to recreate the destructive power in a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick. They didn't even come close.
Chuck Norris has banned rainbows from the state of North Dakota.
Divide Chuck Norris by zero and you will in fact get one........one bad-ass that is.
TNT was originally developed by Chuck Norris to cure indigestion.
After returning from World War 2 unscathed, Bob Dole was congratulated by Chuck Norris with a handshake. The rest is history.
Chuck Norris runs on batteries. Specifically, Die Hards.
"Let the Bodies Hit the Floor" was originally written as Chuck Norris' theme song.
There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has never met Chuck Norris.[ Dit bericht is gewijzigd door op 15-02-2006 @ 18:29:11 ]
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Dadre
Dus dat |
Gepost door Dadre op woensdag 15-02-2006 om 18:30:41 | |
Zeg maar Chuck Norris is de man.
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dap
038 |
Gepost door dap op woensdag 15-02-2006 om 18:42:03 | |
| cult |
dap
038 |
Gepost door dap op woensdag 15-02-2006 om 18:43:20 | |
| http://www.retecool.com/comments.php?id=A12976_0_1_0_C |
Dadre
Dus dat |
Gepost door Dadre op woensdag 15-02-2006 om 18:49:15 | |
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem-- It wouldn't take shit from anybody.
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Pnut
silence is the true friend that never betrays |
Gepost door Pnut op woensdag 15-02-2006 om 20:01:14 | |
haha die shit is goed!
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
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Noem me niet schizofreen, ik ben enkel dubbelzinnig |
Dadre
Dus dat |
Gepost door Dadre op woensdag 15-02-2006 om 20:26:36 | |
Die shit is goud
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die ene kerel
SLMEARV |
Gepost door die ene kerel op woensdag 15-02-2006 om 20:29:36 | |
hahaha.
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smooth criminal on beatbreaks |
| The_TJ |
Gepost door The_TJ op donderdag 16-02-2006 om 08:54:41 | |
Jammer dat Chuck Norris zo enorm gay is...
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Go Fudge Yourself
- Chef |
Jos de Boss
Jops |
Gepost door Jos de Boss op donderdag 16-02-2006 om 12:25:51 | |
"Chuck Norris does not follow fashion trends, they follow him. But then he turns around and kicks their ass. Nobody follows Chuck Norris."
Meesterlijke shit.
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Teh_Jordy
brr |
Gepost door Teh_Jordy op zaterdag 18-02-2006 om 19:39:52 | |
"Bowling is actually a sport derived from when Chuck accidentally roundhouse kicked himself in the testicles and one broke free. In a fit of rage he threw it at a nearby forest creating our modern logging industry as well"
"Why did the midget cross the road? Because Chuck Norris pistol-whipped it in the skull."
"Chuck Norris appeared in the movie Pearl Harbor in a cameo role as a palm tree. An ass-kicking, fire-breathing palm tree. Most of his scenes were cut, due to time and credibility restraints, since nobody could believe that Chuck could be within 500 yards of Ben Affleck without doing him serious bodily harm."
"Chuck Norris won a game of "Simon Says" against Simon."
"Chuck Norris' beard is about 30 seconds older than he is."
"Chuck Norris had seven children. Four of them went on to become doctors. The other three were delicious."
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Ah, the Canibus Era, when men were men and rappers were nuclear warheads with twin lyrical Pentium chips. Lyrically.
-soul khan |
ROCKA
Baas |
Gepost door ROCKA op dinsdag 21-02-2006 om 17:49:46 | |
www.chucknorrisfacts.com  |
livio
Oldschool |
Gepost door livio op dinsdag 21-02-2006 om 18:20:07 | |
Chuck Norris is toevallig een van mijn helden!
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RockyJ |
Gepost door RockyJ op dinsdag 21-02-2006 om 18:30:24 | |
| hehe fun. |
Finger |
Gepost door Finger op dinsdag 21-02-2006 om 19:59:16 | |
*If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
*Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
*The term "carnivore" was invented after Chuck Norris was spotted at a carnival eating babies.
*Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
*Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.
*Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
*Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
*The only reason sperm whales are named as they are is because Chuck Norris named them that when he dicovered they were the only animals that could deep throat him.
*Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
*The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
*A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
*To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
*The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
*When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
*The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.
*In a fight between Batman and Superman, the winner would be Chuck Norris. |
Hyreme |
Gepost door Hyreme op dinsdag 21-02-2006 om 20:04:49 | |
Je moet er maar op komen he
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Pupils dilate like columbine killers with slow watches |
strijker
Van 0 tot 10 |
Gepost door strijker op dinsdag 21-02-2006 om 20:22:34 | |
| Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King...and got one |
die Lange
HARD |
Gepost door die Lange op dinsdag 21-02-2006 om 20:25:33 | |
| Grappig |
AsbezT
check die bal gaan |
Gepost door AsbezT op dinsdag 21-02-2006 om 20:40:50 | |
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Practice like hell and play like heaven |
AsbezT
check die bal gaan |
Gepost door AsbezT op dinsdag 21-02-2006 om 20:43:20 | |
[quote]Finger schreef op 21-02-2006 @ 19:59
*When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
quote]
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Practice like hell and play like heaven |
dap
038 |
Gepost door dap op donderdag 16-03-2006 om 18:37:43 | |
| https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jAc1G3u-hxs |
Shogun |
Gepost door Shogun op vrijdag 17-03-2006 om 20:46:57 | |
Hehe cool die video had ik nog niet gezien.
'Chuck Norris once ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one' vind ik zelf een van de leukste 
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Van dat lijpe gekwek van die twee droplullen daar wordt je toch achterlijk van? |
die ene kerel
SLMEARV |
Gepost door die ene kerel op vrijdag 17-03-2006 om 20:47:39 | |
Dit is echt één van mn lievelingstopics
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smooth criminal on beatbreaks |
Dadre
Dus dat |
Gepost door Dadre op vrijdag 17-03-2006 om 21:11:29 | |
Quote: die ene kerel schreef op 17-03-2006 @ 20:47
Dit is echt één van mn lievelingstopics
En dat gezien de topicstarter.. damn
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n9ne |
Gepost door n9ne op maandag 20-03-2006 om 21:14:23 | |
Haha, Chuck Norris ownt.. |
Spirit
sprrrt |
Gepost door Spirit op zondag 03-09-2006 om 12:06:48 | |
Chuck Norris can split the atom. With his bare hands.
haha
Chuck Norris beat the Sun in a staring contest.
hahahaha
ze worden steeds beter
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I've got my own brand of patriotism, the real meaning of independence. |
Jos de Boss
Jops |
Gepost door Jos de Boss op zondag 03-09-2006 om 12:19:16 | |
*Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
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Monn-E
Vitamine E |
Gepost door Monn-E op zondag 03-09-2006 om 12:27:47 | |
Die shit is al best oud, maar zeker dope ja
''Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.''
''For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.'' 
---------------------------------------- Vitamine E:
Twitter |
Spirit
sprrrt |
Gepost door Spirit op zondag 03-09-2006 om 12:29:21 | |
Quote: Monn-E schreef op 03-09-2006 @ 12:27
''For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.''
hahahahaha
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I've got my own brand of patriotism, the real meaning of independence. |
brutus_barrakus
creative crew guy |
Gepost door brutus_barrakus op woensdag 06-09-2006 om 22:37:54 | |
''chuck norris stole my left sock''
ik was er zelf met 1 bezig over chiel montagne
ben de rest alleen vergeten miss zijn hier wel creatiefe geesten
''chiel montagnes snor heeft een leven opzichzelf''
''chiel montagnes snor is familie van de baard van chuck norris''
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livio
Oldschool |
Gepost door livio op woensdag 06-09-2006 om 23:08:13 | |
Doe toch maar niet brutus.
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brutus_barrakus
creative crew guy |
Gepost door brutus_barrakus op woensdag 06-09-2006 om 23:09:00 | |
laat mensen je niet tegenhouden
in dingen die je graag wil doen
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Capone
US = Nazi |
Gepost door Capone op woensdag 06-09-2006 om 23:17:17 | |
dr phil?? oprah??
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doe een stap naar achter en geniet hoe jullie je belachelijk maken |
brutus_barrakus
creative crew guy |
Gepost door brutus_barrakus op woensdag 06-09-2006 om 23:19:17 | |
ach ze zullen het allebij wel duizend keer verteld hebben
en het is iets wat jezelf ook wel kan verzinnen
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livio
Oldschool |
Gepost door livio op woensdag 06-09-2006 om 23:23:39 | |
Mensen die dat zeggen moet je hun lunchgeld afpakken.
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strijker
Van 0 tot 10 |
Gepost door strijker op woensdag 06-09-2006 om 23:24:44 | |
Quote: livio schreef op 06-09-2006 @ 23:23
Mensen die dat zeggen moet je hun lunchgeld afpakken.
gheheh |
JoevhZuiden
je weet.. |
Gepost door JoevhZuiden op woensdag 06-09-2006 om 23:30:19 | |
Quote: livio schreef op 06-09-2006 @ 23:08
Doe toch maar niet brutus.
hahaha te droog..
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je voelt het..of eeh...je voelt het niet..
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Misterrr_Mike
Wicked!! |
Gepost door Misterrr_Mike op vrijdag 08-09-2006 om 21:03:54 | |
Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
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V.I.P.
California dreamin' |
Gepost door V.I.P. op zaterdag 09-09-2006 om 11:30:23 | |
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
[ Dit bericht is gewijzigd door op 09-09-2006 @ 11:38:31 ]
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I've tried Shakespeare, respect due dere
But did is de stuff I like |
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