Your Mama's so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors
Your Mama's so fat she's got her own area code!
Your Mama's so fat her nickname is "DAMN"
Your Mama's so stupid, she thinks socialism means partying!
Your Mama's so stupid, she thinks manual labor is a Mexican!
Your Mama's so stupid, she thinks Johnny Cash is a pay toilet!
Your Mama's so stupid, it takes her an hour to cook minute rice.
Your Mama's so stupid, when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends
Your Mama's so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
Your Mama's so ugly, they used to push her face into dough to make gorilla biscuits
Your Mama's so ugly, she joined an ugly contest but they said "Sorry, no professionals!"
Your Mama's so ugly, she could be the poster child for abortion/birth control!
Your Mama's so ugly, if my dog looked like her, I'd shave its ass and teach it to walk backwards!
Your Mama's so ugly, when she were born, your mother saw the afterbirth and said "Twins!"
Your Mama's so ugly, they know what time she were born, because her face stopped the clock!
Your Mama's so ugly, her mother had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dog to play with her.
Your Mama's so ugly, she has three teeth...one in her mouth & two in her pocket.
Your Mama's so old, her birthday's expired.
Your Mama's so old she owes Jesus Christ a quarter
Your Mama's so ugly, just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."
Your Mama's so ugly, they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.
Your Mama's so ugly, instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck
Your Mama's so ugly, she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.
Your Mama's so ugly, her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her
Your Mama's so ugly, the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
Your Mama's so fat, when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND the HOUSE
Your Mama's so fat, a picture of her would fall off the wall!
Your Mama's so fat, she gets clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and oh-my-god-it's-coming-towards-us!
Your Mama's so fat, at the zoo the elephants started throwing Her peanuts.
Your Mama's so fat, she jumped up in the air -- AND GOT STUCK!
Your Mama's so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"
Your Mama's so fat, she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller
Your Mama's so fat, when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too
Your Mama's like a doorknob, everybody gets a turn.
Your Mama's like a birthday cake, everybody gets a piece.
Your Mama's like an ice cream cone... everyone gets a lick
Your Mama's like a bowling ball you can fit three fingers in
Your Mama's like a bowling ball she always winds up in the gutter
Your Mama's like a bowling ball she always comes back for more
Your Mama's like McDonalds... Billions and Billions served
Your Mama's like Denny's... open 24 hours
Your Mama's like a shotgun... give her a cock and she blows
Your Mama's like a railroad track: She gets laid all over the country.
Your Mama's like a Christmas tree, everybody hangs balls on her.
Your Mama is like a postage stamp, you lick her, stick her, then send her away.